


Family Status: Work In Progress.

by heroin__e



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-31
Updated: 2011-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-25 03:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroin__e/pseuds/heroin__e
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Egbert/Vantas/Egbert-Vantas/Vantas-Egbert household was, well, it was getting there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Status: Work In Progress.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, woah, I'm inserting ectokids and not even caring, someone help I can't stop.  
> An ongoing thing? Maybe?

The first couple of months are the worst, if only because naming was actually a really big problem.

John has an arsenal of names at his disposal and he calls the grub all of them, using how he wriggles as a gauge to how much he likes it, but Karkat spends a couple of hours charting up stars and names and other things and John doesn’t think the little guy likes any of Karkat’s name.

He doesn’t share any of his ideas with John, for one thing, but all the lists he’s made are written in Alternian so John can’t really read them. He on the other hand throws out, “William? James? How about something neat like Xavier?”

Karkat replies, “Fuck no,” without missing a beat every time. Eventually, John gets tired of it.

One day, while he is doing that thing where he says, “Hey, here’s my finger,” only to pull back and say, “Nah, you can’t have my finger,” he decides this little ball of energy need’s a definitive name.

“Aw, Phil, you’re not gonna get my finger. Why are you even trying, dude? Come on.”

Phillip makes a very intelligent “nyar” sound, and it sounds strangely like, “don’t be such a dick,” and John thinks for a second that this kid is totally a Phil. Totally a Phillip.

Once he gets all of his fingers involved, Phil freaks out a little. Which is really understandable because John’s fingers are bigger than his arms(?), but the little guy looks so cute when he freaks out! He wiggles everywhere, and he chirps and growls and John kinda wants to put him in his mouth.

“He’s gonna bite all your fingers off, dumbass,” says Karkat’s face, which is suddenly right in front of John and looks not entirely unlike a mad grandma. He snatches the grub away from John. “I told you, if you wanna play with him, get a cat toy or something, he’ll bite you. He’s already bitten you.”

So his fingers are covered in little needle bite-marks, so what? What parent hasn’t gone through that? “But it’s so much more loving if it’s me and not a dumb toy!”

“Look,” says Karkat, getting impatient. “Shut up. I came in here to announce that he has a for real name now.”

“Oh, yeah!” John sits up, crossing his legs and reaching for Phil, who looks a little confused and a lot hungry and a whole lot like he wants to bite Karkat’s hair. “I thought of the best one, and we have to keep it. Phillip!”

Karkat gives him this look that could easily melt glass to stand and John grins through it, even though it’s hard. “No. Phrexis.”

“Fractions?”

“Phrexis.”

“Phillip is cuter dude. Just say it. Just say Phillip.”

Confusedly, Karkat pulls the grub out of his and holds him up to inspect him. “Phillip,” he says, dumbly. “…No, see that just sounds stupid. Phrexis sounds really exotic.”

“Well…” John reaches over and is amazed when Karkat hands… Phillip over. “I mean, I really love this little guy, you know! I think I really get him. And he just… is a Phillip. I even think he likes it.”

There is something about Karkat’s expression that looks heartbroken and it’s in moments like these where John really gets the whole pity thing. He scoots closer, holding the grub in his hands and presenting him to Karkat like he’s won a prize for him.

“Say hi,” he whispers. “Say hi, Phillip.”

Phillip squints. He is a mess of a microscopic horns and really shaggy black hair and his body is bright red, all wiggly and cuddly. His eyes are big and brown and John totally loves him.

Like a cat, Phillip makes a growling, wanting sound. But when he gets his mouth open all that comes out is “Nyar. Nnnnyar,” and John bites his lip because it’s literally the cutest sound ever.

Karkat chirps at him, than remembers himself and takes the grub away from John, standing up. “Fine, whatever, Phillip. But that means he’s taking the name Vantas.”

“No, dude,” John says, in his man of the house voice. “Phillip Egbert-Vantas.”

The troll’s eyebrows go down and he looks more perplexed than angry but he’s still a little miffed, and John totally loves him. “Wha—“ He begins, than scowls. “Fine, whatever.”

John sits, and listens. And after a minute, he hears the soft chirping and cooing of, “You’re hungry now, right? Yeah, I know.”

He flops down, resists the urge to roll around on the floor, and totally loves them.


End file.
